Battle of the Bands...You're Doing it Wrong, Jackass

How can you tell when Ben Weasel is about to say something stupid? Odds are, he just finished singing a song. As frontman for Screeching Weasel and The Riverdales, Ben has garnered himself a reputation for launching into 4-6 minute diatribes between each song he sings, where he; rebukes the venue he is playing for paying him too little, degrades and mocks the occupants of the city he is currently in, and his own fan-base for appearing at his shows and not being enthusiastic enough for his tastes. In general, he is the unheard of prima donna of punk rock.

Musically speaking, the bands that Ben fronts are one step removed from Descendents cover bands. Their mainstay power in the punk industry has been their ability to draw the real up-and-comers of the genre to tour with them during SXSW and Weasel Fest. They offer little original, just feel good punk that you can bounce to (causing you to spill the $8.00 beer you had to sell a kidney for).

If you're a megalomaniac with a constant need to have your ego stroked and a penchant to run your mouth when it isn't, eventually, that shit will catch up with you. Eventually, you are going to run across someone that just doesn't want to sit by and tolerate your shit talking. Eventually, someone is going to give you the reaction that you've, basically, been begging for.

It happened to Ben. Big time. On Friday night, Ben jumped from stage and assaulted a woman that had first spit on him, because he went on a tirade for only receiving $25,000 for that nights performance. Four minutes later, the same woman threw ice at him. At this point, Ben jumped from the stage and suitably cleaned her fucking clock.

Now, there are much longer videos regarding this incident. I'm not going to post them, but we will be discussing them later. That being said, before anyone starts to play the blame game, let me just state that this, is one of those rare situations where everyone involved is to blame.

The real problem? All those up-and-coming bands that tour with Ben and whichever band he is fronting at the moment? Well, they're all backing out, slowly but surely, of one of punk's biggest shows, due to total embarrassment at sharing a stage with a 'woman beater'.

First of all, let's get through the obvious. No, not Ben. The dumb bitch in the audience. Just because you have a vagina does not give you carte blanche to assault a man and expect to get off scott free. And, for those of you that are ignorant of the law, spitting on another human is assault.

The fact that you sit down to pee does not give you the right to act like a man but not receive the same consequences as a man. If Ben had jumped off stage to smack down a dude that had spit on him and thrown ice at him, this wouldn't have been an issue. Just business as usual. It would have been a punk rock concert, in other words.

Yet, because this twat has a twat, we're all supposed to feel sorry for her? Give me a fucking break. General Rule of Life: You don't pick fights that you can't fight. If Ben can't pick a fight, you can't either. Period. The only difference is the two scenarios? Ben was more than willing to kick your fucking ass.

Number two is where we address the longer videos. Now, I won't bother posting them here, because I really doubt any of you can be bothered to watch a 6 minute video with shitty visual and audio quality that basically results in the 45 second video I did post. In the 6 minute video (that you can easily find on youtube), there is a clear 4 minute lapse between the time the attention whore spits on Ben and the time she throws ice on him. From the time the ice hits Ben and Ben punches the audience member in the face? 10 seconds. Guess when security decides to intervene?

Now, if security can respond in 10 seconds, as Mr. Weasel jumps off stage and pretends he is from the Slap-a-hoe Tribe, they could have easily removed the dumb bitch that started the whole mess within the 4 minute timeframe between her initial assault and her second one. But, they didn't. Nobody blinked. It was okay to physically assault a performer for 4 full minutes.

Hey, venue owner...your idea of security sucks.

And, while we're onto the venue owner... This is the second woman to get punched in this scenario. Um, honey, you don't walk up to man involved in a free-for-all and put your hands on him without expecting to get clocked. You aren't a cop. You aren't security. You have no business getting involved. You got punched because you stuck your face where it didn't belong. You're just a casualty of war, by your own default.

And finally, Ben... C'mon man. You aren't that special. Maybe you should read Henry Rollins' diary about his first few years as the frontman for Black Flag and find out what it really means to be in a punk band. That dude left every single show and went directly to the local ER for stitches. It was considered a badge of honor.

And dude...yeah, women do stupid shit. They act like men and pick fights that they have no business picking, but you still never put your hands on one. Women may act tough. They may even be tough. But taking a shot to the face from a man?

And really Ben, all of this could have been avoided if you had just done your job and sung. Nobody pays upwards of $25 to hear you run your mouth. Just to hear you sing.

You can overcome your idiocy and your attitude and make something of yourself, despite your ego. Hell, look at Bono...

But, this pretty much sums it all up.