Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Called for Misconduct, Off the Field

If you're not a first time reader to the Uncensored America, then you will remember me refering to the "Chef", at work. (In my mind, this word is pronounced "Jeff". No reason, really, but I thought I'd share that little factoid of uselessness) Tonight, the Chef put on quite a menu to select from. No, not food. Stupidity Du Jour. 

The Chef reads the blog. He is also more up to date on current affairs than the vast majority of the people I know. Being a slow night, he made it his personal mission to engage people in conversations that would elicit statements of stupidity. It was quite an engaging show, and proved more than effective. (In fact, I'm more concerned about the survival of our species after some of the remarks I heard)

The winner...or is it Loser in this case?

"That bitch was just tryin' ta gets her college for free!"

This clearly elloquent and unbiased opinion was in regards to the sexual allegations made against Ben Roethlisberger. Now, guilty or not, I have several issues that are raised with this whole scenario.

First, just because Roethlisberger is a celebrity (and I attach that fucking label to sports stars very loosely), does not automatically mean that the (exceedingly) young girl leveling the accusations is looking for a pay off or her 15 minutes of fame. In point of fact, I live in Pittsburgh and couldn't tell you the girl's name to save my life. I don't recall seeing her whoring herself out to the media at every given chance, which makes me inclined to believe that the problem was; she wasn't willing to whore it out to a professional athlete either.  

Secondly, Big Ben's penance for being accused of attempted date rape? The NFL sat him for a whopping 7 games for violation of their conduct code.

Now, I've never had such an allegation made against me, but I'm fairly certain that the punishment might extend further than being told to stay home from work for 7 days. And believe me, I would feel the financial strain of 7 missed shifts a lot more than someone who earns seven figures for stepping on the field and doing little more than playing a game.

Yet, even if Ben never touched this girl, it's conclusive that he held her against her will in a public bathroom, exposed himself and intended to have sex, right there. While all three of those actions might not add up to more than a few misdemeanors, they are still criminal acts.

The NFL might as well wipe it's ass with it's 'code of conduct'. Michael Vick goes to prison for running a dog fighting ring, and the second he is released, he's right back to earning an 8 figure annual income?!?!

And, the NFL isn't alone. Anyone remember the debacle a few years back when they wanted to induct Pete Rose in the Hall of Fame? Yeah... here's a guy that was banned from baseball for gambling, suspected of throwing games, and did a bit of time. Hall of Shame material, not All-American hero.

Just my opinion, but... if a professional athlete garners themselves a criminal record of any sort, they should be fired and banned from playing sports for money. It's high time we stopped giving these one-talented fucks all the privileges they demand and carte blanche to run over society's laws just because they might bring us home a trophy.

Our educational system has been turned into a mockery where arts and music are becoming extinct because the money to fund these endeavors is being given away in the form of athletic scholarships to students that can't spell scholarship.

Americans are so brain washed into believing that their professional athletes should be given every privilege. That's ass-backwards. The reality is that making millions of dollars for the purpose of entertaining us is the privilege. These pussies should be held to a higher standard of living than the rest of us. If I see Brett Farve in a bar, that motherfucker should offer to park my car while Peyton Manning gives me a foot massage.

Why? Because just like police officers and elected officials (whom we do actually hold to a higher standard of expectations), we're paying their fucking salaries. Oh yeah...forget that fact while you were glued to the tube? They should get away with murder because they might bring you home a trophy? They should lose their jobs if they don't. If the kid waiting on you at McDonalds took your hard earned cash and failed to produce your cheeseburger, you'd be screaming for his head right?

Steroids are illegal. If I were caught taking them, there would be criminal penalties. If an athlete is caught taking them, the big decision is whether of not to place an asterisk beside their achievements. Because, despite Jimmy James' commercials for Extenze, performance enhancement is not okay.

What kind of message are we sending to our children by allowing convicted criminals to hold the highest paying jobs in our country? It's okay to rape, kill and run a cock fighting arena, as long as you can catch a spherical object? Thats the lesson that you, the audience member of this tragedy, want your children to take along with them as they grow up? Not me. I refuse.

Personally, I think there should be an automatic 5 year additional sentence added to any celebrity who is convicted of a crime. Call it the abuse of privilege sentence. We don't need cops with drug dogs in the stadiums policing the fans. We need them in the locker rooms, attending to the actual fucking criminals. I wonder how many Dallas Cowboys have had their lojacks set off while being tackled?

But, I digress.

Most intelligent statement of the night is also courtesy of the Chef.

He inquired about the amount of readers Uncensored America was garnering each day. When I told him the average number, he responded with:

"I guess people really don't have anything better to do."

I don't take this remark as an insult by any stretch of the imagination. I know the guy that delivered it, and understand that his comment was more of an observation about our society than any discredit to my blog.

The truth is, the internet has given us several new forms of media. From blogging to youtube, we have each been given a chance to express our beliefs, our opinions, or just share cute videos of our kitties with the entire planet. Such power would be frightening if it weren't mainly used by bored housewives and angsty teens.

I'd wager the first bloggers were the same people that had little better to do than write letters to the editor each and everyday, puling and whining about every facet of life in this country. The internet gave them a chance to self-publish and not have their tirades censored.

But really? There are an average of 25 people that swing by here each day to take a gander, a quick voyeuristic journey, into whatever topic I happen to choose to ramble on about. The average read is probably 15 minutes long? I could jerk off to asian midget porn twice in that time.

I wouldn't cease this blog if the readership was zero. Thats a fact. Its been a good release for me. A creative outlet and an anger management tool. I write it for me. I don't take suggestions for topics, I don't post polls, and I don't leave open-ended thoughts that invite debate. You can read or not, I will continue to rant.

But, if you have the time to read my idiotic diatribes...why aren't you taking the time to make your own?

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